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Sunset of Render Free

The closure of Render Free effective June 30th

I brought my daughter to Render Free for the first time last week. It had been weeks since the green wall and acrylic sign greeted me upon entering. The last time I bathed in the sunlight of our atrium lounge, I was carrying her in my womb.

Before she was born, I gave birth to a dream. I imagined a space of respite where Black and Brown women might discover the freedom found in communal belonging. I manifested a vision for rest, healing and liberation. Yet the Grace and Goodness that transformed my dream into reality is far beyond me. The felt sense of connection, restoration and discovery found in community with you is much more than what I could have concocted alone.

The last three years have been an incredible undertaking, one that has both come at a great cost and added immeasurable value to my life. I am proud of what I’ve accomplished. It is with confidence that I proclaim, my ancestors are proud of what I’ve accomplished. Render Free has held me to a new standard of self-care, taught me about the power of community and given me a taste of a Black freedom that heals. In the coming years both professionally and as a new mother, I am committed to carrying this goodness forward albeit as a new expression.

I long for a time when the prioritization of our care is not predicated on a sense of racial reckoning. I regret that as we distance ourselves from the urgency of 2020 many of us find it difficult to justify allocating resources, time and energy to our own healing. Most of all, I pray you might hold fast to the truth we encountered together - Black and Brown women are worthy of communal support.

You might be tempted to join me by problem solving and raising considerations about ways Render Free might continue. While I know this comes from a place of care I encourage you instead to celebrate all that Render Free has been. I’ve done everything I can to sustain this dream. Circumstances have reminded me that in truth it was never mine.

Render Free belongs to us. It is you who have given to me. Together we are Render Free and bearing witness to your rest, your laughter, your rage, your embodiment, your tears and your connection, will forever shape my imagination as I continue to dream of freedom.

I wish that my daughter could grow up within the liberation we’ve co-created. Yet, I rest in the joy of knowing that what we’ve made will forever change how I love as a mother, how I love my people and how I love myself.

Thank you so much for the support you’ve provided me and the entity of Render Free over the years. Always in solidarity,

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